WE ARE LIARS

10-Year Sentence Follows Life of Lies
D.C. Man Attacked Girlfriend in May

Just last night, I was talking to friends about that Chinese fob-ness is all about priviledge. And it all seems to be a rosy picture, even though we know what it is all about. And when we are alone, we find like minded people, we find comfort together doing activities that we will be doing back home, we find the Chinese restaurant that most resembled that in Hong Kong and we live as a parallel with everything American, simply not want to make life more complicated then it already is.

and here I am reading one man's tragedy stemming from lies that we all have told. We all do that, dont we? After a 5 years relationship, my mum told me that finally I met my first boyfriend, this year. I told my cousin's relative I was doing Economics. I once know what I want to do in life, and when it come to telling someone in my family, all of a sudden, my plans diminishes, they become uncategorized junk. They leaves no mark in their mind, and they become non-existent in my mind. Soon, i start telling them I don't know, maybe, that is a better answer than all those things that aren't doctors, lawyers, consultants, business?

I know it is horrible to sit on your girlfriend and smash her with a wok, a wok, picture that! and slashes her with razor blades. I wonder how much lies does someone has to tell to drive a person to such madness. The scary thing is that we have all done this. At least I have and I could relate to that. Many of us could self sacrifice to live a life that is not my own all for family sake. It all comes down to sacrafice isnt it?

I really don't understand why family do that to each other. Cant they just be proud of their son who is the best car mechanic in the Valley. Cant they even be proud of a daughter who is a struggling freelance writer who occasionally break a story? It will touch a lot of nerves if I have to dive into the mentality of Chinese family values. Yes we live for each other, and we have all make sacrifices. Why do we need sacrifice in order to feel love, to love each other? cant we just love each other like we mean it and stop saving faces and living lies?

Maybe it is not all that bad, maybe it is just me. Nobody seems to share this with me somehow and it makes me feel as if I am hallucinating. Why do we Chinese people keep so much secret? Why do we hide like we are being raided all the time by our loved ones? Why the burden? Why do we do things out of obligation but not willingness? We talk about obligation like it is honorable, we never talk about love. We are supposed to say this, but we are never allowed to speak.

Not FOBulous.