Friday, December 21, 2007

A Shot at Love Spin-offs: That's Amore and Futch.com



So the shot of love has ended and beautiful angel Dani Campbell is back in the pool available for all crazy lesbians/bisexual women who experience very complex emotion when she graciously walks away from the making out couple. I was disgusted by the manipulating miss tequila, and I was relieved that the beautiful good angel is up for someone normal and more deserving.

A shot at love's finale has scored 6.2 million viewers, making it the second most watched MTV show just short of "The Hills." Also, as many of us already predicted, Domenico, got a contract with MTV and his dating show "That's Amore" will be aired next year in March. I love him, i cant wait to see him talk about American and Italian pubic hair with his contestants.
But what really really deeply touched my heart is Dani. It is the butch woman ,or according to herself, the "futch" woman I have been waiting for. The L Word tried to express butch woman mentality by having Max, only to crush the promisingly positive portrayal of butch woman by turning her into a confused, violent, grotesque partial transexual. Disappoint. Finally, as ignorant in the whole LGBT area as Tila was (she called herself "a bisexual" like a strange species and she was wondering if she should choose a guy or a girl, hello? that is confusion not bisexual) and as exploitative of gender stereotype as the show was, the production crew actually managed to find a perfectly adorable futch woman who is genuinely lovable and keeps her futchness from beginning to the end. They let her makes it to the final 2 and she became the most eligible lesbian in America. GOOD JOB ! MTV!

Not only that!!! the fire-fighter has plans to start her clothing line, called FUTCH, for women like her. I had thought about the same thing when I used to go shopping with Wendy. I know the frustration and how I wish I could just design something, or make a fashion line for woman who doesn't like dresses and tank tops yet still needa go to the girl bathroom unharassed. You might think that why don't they wear men's clothing....
Here is why. Basically men's clothing is cut very differently and they comes in men's sizes. When men try to show off their chest muscle, butch/futch women are not dying to show off their boobs. On the other hand, women's clothing, which focus a lot on curves tends to tighten around the waist and hip and has lower neckline. It usually doesn't flatter a butch/futch woman's body. Not everyone look like Kate Moennig. I have observed that many butch women are more on the heavy side, plus they like to work out their arms and shoulder, thus they tend to be "thicker" then an average curvy/chubby woman. They fall in a gap that no one care to cater to and that they can only pick from the accidental goodies somewhere between the men's and the women's section.

The reason why i spend so long talking about this is that Dani Campbell did everything I have been waiting for. she made a lot of things happened, on TV, in people's mind and in the society(hopefully). The portrayal of her is realistic, genuine and just seeing her break through all drama with only, nothing but only HONESTLY and always keeping a smile, is very heart warming. She is so comfortable with herself, and her futchness and did not get offended when someone is ignorant (so portrayed in the show). I am really glad that we have real futch woman like her on mainstream media, who is not always riding a chopper in flannel shirt and shouting men slur.

Happy lesbian makes me happy. That's why Rosie is Terrifying!!

I wasn't happy and it was a shame. I wasn't tough enough, I couldn't face everything with a smile. My heart breaks at everything and I failed. Loving someone with a broken heart to start with will only leave to a complete shattering of what little you hold precious. There is a saying that goes, you need to love yourself before you can love someone. I didn't understand that until I lose it.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

JUNO



I have added this to be the must watch this Christmas. Rotten tomato has given it a 94.

More importantly, it is the movie debut of Diablo Cody, whose feature on Esquire i had posted on my facebook. Her amazing biography includes being a secretary in the corporate world, a stripper, a journalist and now a award-winning script-writer.

This is my favorite quote from her: "Bringing doughnuts to a bunch of douchebags is far more degrading than giving a handjob or humping a pole." Totally agreed.

I am going to read her book- "Candy Girl: A Year in the Life of an Unlikly Stripper"

WE ARE LIARS

10-Year Sentence Follows Life of Lies
D.C. Man Attacked Girlfriend in May

Just last night, I was talking to friends about that Chinese fob-ness is all about priviledge. And it all seems to be a rosy picture, even though we know what it is all about. And when we are alone, we find like minded people, we find comfort together doing activities that we will be doing back home, we find the Chinese restaurant that most resembled that in Hong Kong and we live as a parallel with everything American, simply not want to make life more complicated then it already is.

and here I am reading one man's tragedy stemming from lies that we all have told. We all do that, dont we? After a 5 years relationship, my mum told me that finally I met my first boyfriend, this year. I told my cousin's relative I was doing Economics. I once know what I want to do in life, and when it come to telling someone in my family, all of a sudden, my plans diminishes, they become uncategorized junk. They leaves no mark in their mind, and they become non-existent in my mind. Soon, i start telling them I don't know, maybe, that is a better answer than all those things that aren't doctors, lawyers, consultants, business?

I know it is horrible to sit on your girlfriend and smash her with a wok, a wok, picture that! and slashes her with razor blades. I wonder how much lies does someone has to tell to drive a person to such madness. The scary thing is that we have all done this. At least I have and I could relate to that. Many of us could self sacrifice to live a life that is not my own all for family sake. It all comes down to sacrafice isnt it?

I really don't understand why family do that to each other. Cant they just be proud of their son who is the best car mechanic in the Valley. Cant they even be proud of a daughter who is a struggling freelance writer who occasionally break a story? It will touch a lot of nerves if I have to dive into the mentality of Chinese family values. Yes we live for each other, and we have all make sacrifices. Why do we need sacrifice in order to feel love, to love each other? cant we just love each other like we mean it and stop saving faces and living lies?

Maybe it is not all that bad, maybe it is just me. Nobody seems to share this with me somehow and it makes me feel as if I am hallucinating. Why do we Chinese people keep so much secret? Why do we hide like we are being raided all the time by our loved ones? Why the burden? Why do we do things out of obligation but not willingness? We talk about obligation like it is honorable, we never talk about love. We are supposed to say this, but we are never allowed to speak.

Not FOBulous.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

POLE DANCING



I know I have been talking about pole dancing, and I don't remember how it starts.

As we all know pole dancing has become a fitness option and as a quasi feminist, I am more than happy to welcome the process. Women are pole dancing for fun, not for money. And sorry, though it sounds sexist, it just does'nt quite work when man do it. But there are different type of pole dancing:the athletic kind, the strip-club kind, and the really really take your breath away kind.

According to the World Pole Federation, pole dancing might date back to burlesque time when showgirls dancing in tents and showing off their moves on the tent poles. Then it become extremely popular as a regular strip club entertainment roughly in the 70s. And now, woman of all walks of lives are taking pole dancing lessons as alternative to threadmill running and weight lifting.

Crunch Gym apparently offer a cardio striptease class and pole dancing class. It is definitely cardio, weight and resistence training exercise all in one package.

My new fascination has become my new year resolution. As much as I have short attention span, i hope my plan will materialize.

So I have done some research and watch a lot of videos,and i found one that really really moved me. Ya, i was emotionally moved by a pole dancing video. It was not filmed in a yoga studio with sport-bra wearing woman, it was not filmed in a strip club, it was in someone's bedroom, quite voyeuristic, no idea who the person is, but she is AMAZING!!! It is 3am in the morning and my consciousness is working strangely, but when someone is dancing so melanchonicly to Kelly Clarkson's " Addicted" it just makes me hold my breath.

and I would share it with you who read my note:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt4k4kDpPow&feature=related

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Cowboy on the Run



When cowboys drink only milk and use only rubber band for shooting, it will be the end of the war.

It is so strange I don even know how to describe it. You have to see it to believe it. Jay Chou rocks.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Haruki Murakami


Just finished writing a paper on "Underground," then I realized that I took that class just to write a paper on a Murakami novel.

Somehow the Murakami world is so embedded in my subconscious that sometimes I tend to perceive my world through the tinted lense of "Murakamism." I don't know how to describe that, but it is a detachment, a sense of voluntary suspension for strangeness in life, and most importantly, the desire to cross over to "the other side".

Looking at his universal achievements, Americans love Murakami very often because of its references to American culture and references to Jazz and Rock. At least that was the stigma of it in Japan, Japanese finds it a little too pop, too western. We all know that "Norwegian wood" is a Beatle song,though I could hardly relate that song to the significance of the novel. One New York Times article says that Murakami was not as recognized in Japan as in America. While the Japanese finds his American references as almost a sell out, Murakami appears to me a very nationalistic writer. Projects that he took on revolved around Japanese culture and history; for instances, non-fiction "Underground" and " After the quake" were devoted to represent the Tokyo gas attack and the Kobe Earthquake with the sympathy of a novelist and with the urgency and determination of a breaking news reporter. " The Wind-up Bird Chronicle" explored the Japanese Army in WWII. I imagine it must take immense courage to admit what the Japanese Army did in Nanking and told the story from a Japanese soldier's perspective, while textbooks in Japan still try to cover up the incident.

The fact is that Murakami is recieving the same recognition in lots of Asian countries and even Europe. What that means is that, though Americanized in a way, there is something in his stories that connect to people regardless of one's ethnicity. I did not go into Murakami's novel to pick up references to America. I usually buy one of his book, devote one whole day for it, hopefully it is a rainy day and then curl myself up and read from start to finish, only to find a lost of words in the end, relunctant to be thrown back to the reality. I think what really strike people is that sense of possibility that extraordinary event can happen on an ordinary day and thus change someone's life forever. It all start from an ordinary day, some guy listening to music, some couple cooking pasta, watching baseball. Always an ordinary day, until someone finds the entrance to " the other side."

As developed city dwellers, we are so bored with life that we crave for that "other side, "hoping it will just swallow us up into something fantastic. And we don't care if this dream is nightmarish or erotic, as long as we can just blink and make our office desk or GPA disappear. We hope for a little fantasy that is as accessible as a hot dog stand, who knows, in the Murakami world, that hot dog vendor might be the unlikely bouncer to your subconscious.

And the sex, of course. No one talk about sex in Murakami's novel as if it is not important, even though i knew people who will just skip to those pages. The sex is usually very blatant, sometimes twisted, mostly very confessional and to me, heartbreakingly beautiful and brutal at the same time. I remember being blown away by Miu's hair turning white over night in Sputnik Lover, upon witnessing her husband violently fucking herself in a room. I remember from Kafka on the Shore, a girl spread her legs in front of her late father's shrine, only to show him what she has become because he has a right to know what he had created. Not to forget the vision of a naked woman kneeling at the moon light( it was in Norwegian wood, Kafka on the shore, sputnik lover and I am sure more...). I was always just as puzzled as the character who perceive the sight. It screams something about the subconsciou, but I cant figure that out.

Finally, what was that about Colonel Sanders, Johnie Walker, Norwegian Wood, baseball and Jazz? Sometimes I think the western world forget how globalized this world is. My parents grew up listening to Beatles, Abba,Carpenter, Rolling Stones, you name it. Likewise, American kids grew up with Sailor Moon, Ninja Turtle and Super Mario. And I am pretty sure that kids in France, Germany, China, South Africa know what Ninja Turtle or Transformer are. Culture circulate so fast that sometimes we can hardly claim and allocate an icon to one country. For instance, Transformers, Power Rangers, Ninja Turtles were as important to American culture as Spider man and Disneyland. When cultural symbols become so integrated into the national psyche, it is very difficult to claim that Colonel Sanders is strictly American. we share the same cultural experience; my parent are no worse fans of Abba than any one in America. Just because you love sushi doesn't mean you love the Japanese culture, maybe you just like the taste of the vinegar mixed rice, the fresh crisp texture of raw fish and that sting of wasabi. Like wise, just because you listen to "yesterday" ten million times when your girl friend break up with you in the 60s in Singapore, doen't mean you are an American music whore.

My point is that the Western aspect of Murakami's novel is overrated and to me, American critics has wasted too much space to point out American references that I cant help but detect a smell of ethnocentricity in that interpretation. Yes, Murakami admitted that he was disillusioned in the Japanese literary world, and has very strong background in western literature, but that should not undermine his literature as a sell out, or a westerner pleasing product. To me, his novel paint this really distinct picture of Japan as a cosmopolitan, international city with strong cultural background and national pride.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Stephen Chow new movie : CJ7



This is in fact Stephen Chow's first sci-fi debut. This time Stephen chow stars as Ti, a poor father trying to make ends meet by working at a construction site. His son, Dicky (Xu Jian, who is actually a girl)is the target for bullies at school because of his shabby clothes and dirty shoes. One night, as Ti was going through the junk yard to look for Dicky's new shoes, he stumbled upon a green orb that turns out to be an alien dog with mysterious power. This new pet, CJ7, becomes Di's secret weapon against his bullies at school. Ti had a fatal accident at the construction site and all of a sudden Dicky found himself an orphan. As the movie took an unexpected turn into tragedy, CJ7 is Dicky's only hope for a miracle. In doing so, CJ7 has to make a sacrifice that will end up costing his life.

The fact that it is coming to Hollywood makes me feel that this might be yet another sell-out. Kung Fu Hussle and Shaolin Soccer were not the best Stephen Chow movie and his slapstick is increasing lacking of depth. And if you grow up watching Stephen Chow you know that the quality of his movies is going downhill these days and the bigger the budget, the lamer the jokes. But as long as he is having a premiere in hollywood, I am gonna be tagging along. I would completely faint if he is two feet away from my face!!

The movie is going to have its North America premiere on March 7th 2008.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

A shot of Tila Tequila anyone?

As I was hooked up on " a shot of love tila Tequila", I of course suffer intense guilt and shame about obsessing over a dumb reality show that looks more staged than Divorce Court.

If you don't know who is Tila Tequila, she is the one person who has the most friends on myspace, amounting to about 1.4 millions friends as of now. Her real name is Tila Nguyen, Vietnamese American.

and her reality show is about her choosing a partner from 16 boys and 16 girls, because she is Bisexual.

Asian, bisexual, fight. ambulance, cat fight, dog fight,boobs and asses. P v.s.P ( go figure) formula for an addictive mind destressor right?

So why am I so fascinated? Why am I googling tila Tequila at 11pm?

If you have an open mind, i think finally, finally, we have an Asian American celebrity who can truly transcend their ethnicity and become American American. When you look at Asian actresses, they scream Asian to you, they are chosen, from a lot of other Asian, to be THE ASIAN CHICK on TV. Look at Sandra Ooh, Lucy Liu....they are amazing actresses but do asian chicks all have small eyes like them?

When you look at that Tila Tequila bitch, you think, ya, big tits: maybe fake, bisexual: definitely fake, singing:, really sucks, like a 5 years old faking a chipmunk voice. But afterall, she is not that 'oriental' looking lady with slanty eyes and has a crazy mother or always doing kung fu kicks on screen. She is just a slut, or a smart business woman selling her sluttiness in a very entertaining way.

As I am bombarded by Halloween costume that says "oriental delight," " sexy geisha dream' and "Chinese princess." ( i didn't know that you can go as "asian" for halloween.) I am impressed by the individuality that Tila Tequila brings onto the screen. Those guys and girls in "A shot at love" does not drool over her like she is some delicious sushi bowl...or more precisely, a juicy piece of vietnamese spring roll, but just a (apparently) sassy, bitchy, emotional, narcissistic girl who doesn't give a damn and very generous about clevege publicity. It doesn't occur to me that they want to get her laid because of her beautiful little asian ass but rather, the WAY she shakes her ass.

and that is truly an example of transcendence of one's race. And to see her doing that it means that it is possible. Her personality, or skeptically speaking commerciailly constructed personality raise above stereotypes and prejudice. Asian American artists very often either struggle very hard to assert their American-ness or resort/choose to celebrate their Asian-ness through their art. I am not saying Tila Tequila is an artist, but the fact that she emerged so purely as a person, is amazing, as she does it so effortlessly.

As you know, I like to see things through a racial perspective. Maybe I am a little racist, but WE ALL ARE, just admit it. I am the kinda person who count out the ethnicity on TV commercial and tell you that they are missing a Hispanic person. Yet I am blown away by this stupid reality show in which, no matter how critical I am, I cannot find one trace of racialism or racism in it.

Yet again, how she will be exploited in the future is unknown, and that will be a sad case. Will Play boy make her wear transparent kimono holding a samurai sword? and I heard that she is one of those Asian hooter girls in " I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry", that outrageously racist and sexist movie under the false pretend of celebrating gay rights. In fact, my cynical mind think that is how she would become.

Here she is :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJJAHPg-Des

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

I now pronouce you racist and homophobic

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry - Movie - Review - New York Times

Sporadically funny, casually sexist, blithely racist and about as visually sophisticated as a parking-garage surveillance video, the new Adam Sandler comedy, “I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry,” looks, sounds and moves like most Adam Sandler comedies.


So New York Times speak my heart. It was about two straight men making use of the domestic partnership system to ensure kids are fed after their mother died.
Message #1: domestic partnership or gay marriage are made to be abused.

And there was also a car load of Hooter girls coming out from Adam Sandler's bedroom. Surprise, there is Tila Tequila taking the lead and they all go find drinks at the fridge , wriggling their cute little Asian asses.
Message #2: Asian girls are good for orgy because they all look the same.

Nice try, Chuck and Larry. I walked out pretty offended.

Not even Fabulous.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

No/So Cal

Middle age Chinese man wearing a shirt that says "GAYMAN" has no idea what it means, wearing it with pride. There is really no difference between what kind of man you are, as long as you can wear it out loud.

Asian clinic with signs that translate into six languages, counters splits into six countries and a concerto of asian sounds like some weirdly incoherent and harmonious percussion. Black woman walks in feels pretty at home; she walks with her overweight thighs among boney Vietnamese girls. I saw my America.

Ordering Chinese food in cantonese is a privilege. ABC kids writing Chinese vocabulary on practice sheets. It is entirely differently from scribbling the same thing on the greasy table of Denny's. That kid was eating luncheon meat with instant noodle, drinking hong kong style milk tea.

Reading a novel about LA on my way back, a few thousand feet above the dusty yellow fog of Oakland. Suddenly really sick of Hollywood, suddenly really sick of the beaches, suddenly really sick of wealth...suddenly feel totally trapped. A.M. Homes' This book will save your life is depressing. It doesn't read like A.M. Homes' other novel until the point where the son wants to rape the father, until the perfect son turns gay. Rich man becomes superhero, bought a pink beetle for a desperate housewife on rehab, bought a black one for his gay son. Rich middle age white man samaritan, I am just about to say Jesus was a jew. Not a good read; it depressed me.

Oakland...SF...bay area. they have Chinese ads on the bus, next to the Spanish. They have Chinese who lives like they have never leave home. Kids speak better Chinese up there. It is vast, brown and dusty, i miss the sky of LA, dream-like, almost techni-color. One time I drove through Paramount studio's gate, i felt L.A. I felt its pulse beating under the cracked tar surface of the roads, and there was a fake sky right under the real sky. There was no difference, the fake one looks even prettier. You never know when you are going to run into a set; you never know when you are going to run into your life.

So there is a Transformer robot on Broxton and Le Conte. The trucks that took it here disappeared, I think they were the robots themselves. you never know.