A review: my blueberry night

You know that feeling when you were at a party and you are desperately wanting to get drunk. But you didn't so you just keep drinking. Finally you give up, you go home, the alcohol kicks in and you are left hanging, longing for the embrace of a three minute friend, the kiss of a stranger.

You might just really want to write a letter to an old lover.
You might just want to stare at the ceiling listening to jazz.
You look around, and everything is illuminated.
street lamps, light diffuses on cement pavement, her patent leather shoes.
Norah Jones crooning, " it is a story that's been told before...."
We had lived for so long, so long that we forget that we are alive. That we forgot some people who walked out and some people , who we had waited and kept their keys.
We forget our waiting to survive the partings.
Should I not made that journey, to come back and kiss you once more?
should I not linger, and drink myself to pieces, so that you, maybe you will come back and sit with me. Like friends, we will have a whiskey, like strangers, and we will leave each other again.
Had I not broken your hearts, I would not be in pain all this years.
My penance, in the form of addiction.
I promise, honey, this is the last time I drink, and I will let you go tomorrow morning.
Meanwhile, I am intoxicated by the colors of the night
The night air smells like rivers, slow streams of dark water silently running across time.

Memory, the aftertaste of your breathe.

you know this country is so much like home.

Does it matters where we are when we look at the same unforgiving landscape through a glass door that never close, yet was never opened?

Does it matter if we deliver our badly scripted lines in Chinese or in English?

Does it matter if I have a different name, live in a different city and speaks a different language?

Footsteps,

the sound of a train thundering pass.

Harmony Gold Screening:I saw Stephen Chow today!!!!

I made it to a CJ7 screening at Harmony Gold at Hollywood. CJ7 wasn't as good as I expected. Maybe i just expected too much. And some humor just didn't translate when you watch it in an American context and as a long time fan, I am convinced that the Stephen Chow that I grew up with is gone forever. The movie wasn't funny. I guess I only laughed once or twice and there wasn't even memorable moment like the Karaoke scene from Shaolin Soccer or the Roadrunner scene from Kung Fu Hassle. Maybe I was just confused. The crowd were the foreign movie fans/ film students crowd, so they weren't feeling Chow's divine presence. I wish I were at the UCLA screening, but then again, I am glad that I was not.

Stephen Chow actually had a screening at UCLA yesterday. I was being extremely nice and I told the Hong Kong Student Society about it so they could better arrange the situation and avoid some crazed fans being arrested by campus police. The last thing I wanna see on campus is crazy Chinese students stepping on each other and making Daily Bruin headlines. So y being concerned, I basically blew my chance of getting in, (hence, i end up at the Harmony Gold, lucky me.) If Leon Lai was moped at Melnitz couple years ago, Stephen Chow would never make his way to the parking lot. Like me, those kids in HKSS are all gonna have a life changing experience by breathing the same air with the King of Comedy in the same space.

The perks of being in Hollywood is that big star like Stephen comes to America as a nobody, so they become accessible like any up and coming names. In Hong Kong, no kids will ever ever dream of seeing Stephen Chow face to face, let alone a Q&A session. Finally, our international student fees pay off.


their Q&A are pretty similar than the one I've been to. Except the audience at UCLA are probably 99% Chinese student. How FOBulous!

A Shot at Love Spin-offs: That's Amore and Futch.com

• MTV
• Music Videos
• MTV Shows
• Entertainment News

So the shot of love has ended and beautiful angel Dani Campbell is back in the pool available for all crazy lesbians/bisexual women who experience very complex emotion when she graciously walks away from the making out couple. I was disgusted by the manipulating miss tequila, and I was relieved that the beautiful good angel is up for someone normal and more deserving.

A shot at love's finale has scored 6.2 million viewers, making it the second most watched MTV show just short of "The Hills." Also, as many of us already predicted, Domenico, got a contract with MTV and his dating show "That's Amore" will be aired next year in March. I love him, i cant wait to see him talk about American and Italian pubic hair with his contestants.
But what really really deeply touched my heart is Dani. It is the butch woman ,or according to herself, the "futch" woman I have been waiting for. The L Word tried to express butch woman mentality by having Max, only to crush the promisingly positive portrayal of butch woman by turning her into a confused, violent, grotesque partial transexual. Disappoint. Finally, as ignorant in the whole LGBT area as Tila was (she called herself "a bisexual" like a strange species and she was wondering if she should choose a guy or a girl, hello? that is confusion not bisexual) and as exploitative of gender stereotype as the show was, the production crew actually managed to find a perfectly adorable futch woman who is genuinely lovable and keeps her futchness from beginning to the end. They let her makes it to the final 2 and she became the most eligible lesbian in America. GOOD JOB ! MTV!

Not only that!!! the fire-fighter has plans to start her clothing line, called FUTCH, for women like her. I had thought about the same thing when I used to go shopping with Wendy. I know the frustration and how I wish I could just design something, or make a fashion line for woman who doesn't like dresses and tank tops yet still needa go to the girl bathroom unharassed. You might think that why don't they wear men's clothing....
Here is why. Basically men's clothing is cut very differently and they comes in men's sizes. When men try to show off their chest muscle, butch/futch women are not dying to show off their boobs. On the other hand, women's clothing, which focus a lot on curves tends to tighten around the waist and hip and has lower neckline. It usually doesn't flatter a butch/futch woman's body. Not everyone look like Kate Moennig. I have observed that many butch women are more on the heavy side, plus they like to work out their arms and shoulder, thus they tend to be "thicker" then an average curvy/chubby woman. They fall in a gap that no one care to cater to and that they can only pick from the accidental goodies somewhere between the men's and the women's section.

The reason why i spend so long talking about this is that Dani Campbell did everything I have been waiting for. she made a lot of things happened, on TV, in people's mind and in the society(hopefully). The portrayal of her is realistic, genuine and just seeing her break through all drama with only, nothing but only HONESTLY and always keeping a smile, is very heart warming. She is so comfortable with herself, and her futchness and did not get offended when someone is ignorant (so portrayed in the show). I am really glad that we have real futch woman like her on mainstream media, who is not always riding a chopper in flannel shirt and shouting men slur.

Happy lesbian makes me happy. That's why Rosie is Terrifying!!

I wasn't happy and it was a shame. I wasn't tough enough, I couldn't face everything with a smile. My heart breaks at everything and I failed. Loving someone with a broken heart to start with will only leave to a complete shattering of what little you hold precious. There is a saying that goes, you need to love yourself before you can love someone. I didn't understand that until I lose it.

JUNO

I have added this to be the must watch this Christmas. Rotten tomato has given it a 94.

More importantly, it is the movie debut of Diablo Cody, whose feature on Esquire i had posted on my facebook. Her amazing biography includes being a secretary in the corporate world, a stripper, a journalist and now a award-winning script-writer.

This is my favorite quote from her: "Bringing doughnuts to a bunch of douchebags is far more degrading than giving a handjob or humping a pole." Totally agreed.

I am going to read her book- "Candy Girl: A Year in the Life of an Unlikly Stripper"

WE ARE LIARS

10-Year Sentence Follows Life of Lies
D.C. Man Attacked Girlfriend in May

Just last night, I was talking to friends about that Chinese fob-ness is all about priviledge. And it all seems to be a rosy picture, even though we know what it is all about. And when we are alone, we find like minded people, we find comfort together doing activities that we will be doing back home, we find the Chinese restaurant that most resembled that in Hong Kong and we live as a parallel with everything American, simply not want to make life more complicated then it already is.

and here I am reading one man's tragedy stemming from lies that we all have told. We all do that, dont we? After a 5 years relationship, my mum told me that finally I met my first boyfriend, this year. I told my cousin's relative I was doing Economics. I once know what I want to do in life, and when it come to telling someone in my family, all of a sudden, my plans diminishes, they become uncategorized junk. They leaves no mark in their mind, and they become non-existent in my mind. Soon, i start telling them I don't know, maybe, that is a better answer than all those things that aren't doctors, lawyers, consultants, business?

I know it is horrible to sit on your girlfriend and smash her with a wok, a wok, picture that! and slashes her with razor blades. I wonder how much lies does someone has to tell to drive a person to such madness. The scary thing is that we have all done this. At least I have and I could relate to that. Many of us could self sacrifice to live a life that is not my own all for family sake. It all comes down to sacrafice isnt it?

I really don't understand why family do that to each other. Cant they just be proud of their son who is the best car mechanic in the Valley. Cant they even be proud of a daughter who is a struggling freelance writer who occasionally break a story? It will touch a lot of nerves if I have to dive into the mentality of Chinese family values. Yes we live for each other, and we have all make sacrifices. Why do we need sacrifice in order to feel love, to love each other? cant we just love each other like we mean it and stop saving faces and living lies?

Maybe it is not all that bad, maybe it is just me. Nobody seems to share this with me somehow and it makes me feel as if I am hallucinating. Why do we Chinese people keep so much secret? Why do we hide like we are being raided all the time by our loved ones? Why the burden? Why do we do things out of obligation but not willingness? We talk about obligation like it is honorable, we never talk about love. We are supposed to say this, but we are never allowed to speak.

Not FOBulous.

POLE DANCING

I know I have been talking about pole dancing, and I don't remember how it starts.

As we all know pole dancing has become a fitness option and as a quasi feminist, I am more than happy to welcome the process. Women are pole dancing for fun, not for money. And sorry, though it sounds sexist, it just does'nt quite work when man do it. But there are different type of pole dancing:the athletic kind, the strip-club kind, and the really really take your breath away kind.

According to the World Pole Federation, pole dancing might date back to burlesque time when showgirls dancing in tents and showing off their moves on the tent poles. Then it become extremely popular as a regular strip club entertainment roughly in the 70s. And now, woman of all walks of lives are taking pole dancing lessons as alternative to threadmill running and weight lifting.

Crunch Gym apparently offer a cardio striptease class and pole dancing class. It is definitely cardio, weight and resistence training exercise all in one package.

My new fascination has become my new year resolution. As much as I have short attention span, i hope my plan will materialize.

So I have done some research and watch a lot of videos,and i found one that really really moved me. Ya, i was emotionally moved by a pole dancing video. It was not filmed in a yoga studio with sport-bra wearing woman, it was not filmed in a strip club, it was in someone's bedroom, quite voyeuristic, no idea who the person is, but she is AMAZING!!! It is 3am in the morning and my consciousness is working strangely, but when someone is dancing so melanchonicly to Kelly Clarkson's " Addicted" it just makes me hold my breath.

and I would share it with you who read my note:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt4k4kDpPow&feature=related

Cowboy on the Run

When cowboys drink only milk and use only rubber band for shooting, it will be the end of the war.

It is so strange I don even know how to describe it. You have to see it to believe it. Jay Chou rocks.